Day 12

I walked in to work today and saw Self-Proclaimed Weird Girl vigorously stabbing herself in the ear with a pen. Self-Proclaimed Weird Girl turns around to me, the pen sticking out of her ear and explains that her ears had popped on the way to work and she is trying to un-pop them. Her ear is covered in blue pen ink.

Motivation is a popular topic with The Manager and Inappropriate Steve. Every day we are threatened with dismissal, in the same way that a teacher may threaten the naughty children at school with expulsion. The naughty children become skilled at not getting caught and the well behaved children become rebellious.

We are threatened with being kept behind late after work if we talk to each other, in a way that a dictator may try to control national communication.  

Psychochick@ doesn’t believe in rules and she doesn’t believe in working until 5pm. Sidekick agrees. During a talk from The Manager and Inappropriate Steve about respect in the work place, Psychochick@ and Sidekick discuss their holiday options for the summer.

‘Would you rather Marbella or Ibiza?’ asks Sidekick.

‘That’s like saying would I rather beach and cocktail bars or beach and clubbing at Space?’

‘Would you rather cocktails or sangria?’

Stubble head chips in, ‘Would you rather have pubes for teeth or teeth for pubes?’

‘Would you rather drink a glass of piss or lick a dirty bum hole?’ asks Psychochick@

Stubble Head and Psychochick@ grow louder. Inappropriate Steve moves within earshot.

‘Would you rather be handcuffed to a cat forever or eat a live cat? Remember that cats live less than humans.’

‘Have mini penises for fingers or mini fingers for a penis?’

‘Be in a fight with Luis Suarez or run through a swarm of bees unprotected?’

‘Give up oral sex or have a curfew of 6pm forever?’

 ‘Have an unshaveable monobrow or a bum so hairy that the hairs poke out of your trousers?’

‘Have 1 meter long nose hair or eat only boiled cauliflower for every meal for the rest of your life?’

‘Sneeze shit or cry tears of shit?’

‘Have a tennis racquet attached to your right arm forever or be dressed as a hotdog forever?’

‘Give a blow job to a homeless man or receive oral sex from a homeless dog?’

‘Turn into a slice of pizza when the sun shines or grow flamingo legs when the sun goes down?’

‘Have sex with your mum or with your dad?’ Stubble Head excitedly shouts.

The game ends. Psychochick@ and Sidekick are horrified.

 Inappropriate Steve is deep in thought. 

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