Day 6

Inappropriate Steve hi-fived a boy this morning, as a demonstration of how to start the day at number 10 on the happiness scale. The boy rebounds backwards and rubs is sore palm. His hi-five was an open handed punch in terms of force, velocity and surprise. He laughs at the boy and puts his hand down the top of his trousers for a quick fondle.  

Absent Girl explained to everyone why she had taken last Thursday off work. On the bus from work last Wednesday evening, Absent Girl received a phone call. She asked the girl next to her to turn down the volume of the music that was blasting from her phone. Absent Girl was met with silence and a punch in the face.

Today at lunch I was sat with Blondie, Self-Proclaimed Weird Girl and Gromit. They eat cheeseburgers and chips from Burger King. I tuck into my homemade brown bread sandwich. Psychochick@ is a few tables away from us. She loudly announces that she’s on a diet for her holiday to Benidorm in a few weeks’ time. She eats a kebab, boasting that the meat is high quality and perfect for losing weight. 

Self-Proclaimed Weird Girl has a habit of sharing personal information, often while others are mid conversation about an unrelated topic. She has large, staring eyes, which pin you down as she speaks her life story at you. Today she interrupted a conversation about childbirth. We all agreed that we wish we were men, apart from Gromit who was glad to be a man. She told us how her current romance forced her drive him home last night. She obliged, as she really likes him. He has two children with two other women. They got together 4 years ago for the first time. One year afterwards he dated her best friend. He was with them both at the same time. He has recently come out of jail for the second time. He is 22 years old.

He went to jail the first time for harassing one of the mothers of his children and his daughter. Self-Proclaimed Weird Girl explains that he merely wanted to see his daughter more, regardless of the legally arranged weekly visits. He has such a big heart, she tells us. His fatherly visits are now supervised by a member of the police.

The second incarceration was for something trivial, like robbery, she says.

Robbery has been another popular topic with my group. Many have been and continue to go ‘on the rob’ as a hobby. ‘The dole doesn’t pay very much’, says one of them, ‘it’s only enough for two nights out a week’. Psychochick@ tells us proudly that she once caught a shoplifter in a clothes shop. ‘What happened?’ asked Sidekick, in awe. Psychochick@, looking like the proud hyena who caught the warthog, replies ‘I knew what to look out for.’

I fear that they might ‘go on the rob’ in my bag soon. I’ll be spending my first wage on a padlock.

Old Woman stared out of the window with such concentration today she forgot to go on her lunch break and got in trouble with The Manager.  

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