Day 4

Today I was talking to my friend Craig and I realised that one good thing has come from knowing Psychochick@. Craig was telling me about his problems with a girl that he knows. The girl in question is suffering lover’s jealousy and she has chosen Craig as her love doctor. She plays mind games. She invents stories about other men in an attempt to make Craig jealous. She calls Craig in the early hours of the morning. She calls Craig this particular day, she happens to be near his local pub after doing some errands. Craig, being a sociable type, takes the hint and heads down to his local where he is met with an outrageously dressed up lady in skyscraper heels and thick lipstick. She is wearing a style previously only seen in Essex at New Year in a quiet pub in a small town in Sheffield. The pub closes and they decide to part ways for the evening. Looking at the road, she claims that her car has been blocked in, so she’ll have to stay over at Craig’s place. Craig points out that the nearest car is a good two car lengths away. She claims she is too drunk to see the car properly, never mind drive home. After one pint of cider that took over an hour to consume. She must stay at his house or she will die.

I went to offer him some words of advice, and realised that I had nothing to say. This is when it occurred to me to form the Psycho Girl Support Group. There are many strange, hard to deal with females out there. There are even more people who have to tolerate them. This group is for anyone who knows one and would like support with ‘making the crazy hazy’.

Today we had a new Team Leader, Inappropriate Steve. Inappropriate Steve was wearing a shirt, tie and cardigan. The shirt, tie and cardigan were all tucked into his trousers.

During an early morning team meeting about positive attitudes, Inappropriate Steve begins with an ice breaker. He places ten pieces of paper on the floor in a line, marked from one to ten. Ten stands for happiness, one stands for a state of depression. He orders us to stand up and approach the number that best represents how we feel before coming into work in the morning. A few people gather at number one. What were the words of encouragement from a man in a managerial position, instilling a positive attitude into his team?

‘Grow a pair. But not you’, he points at one of them, ‘you’re already too fat to grow anymore.’

Today we had to identify a great moment in our lives thanks to good customer service and a bad moment in our lives due to poor customer service. Being the Team Leader, Inappropriate Steve led by example.

Inappropriate Steve was once on a two hour flight to Italy. There was a free bar. He doesn't remember the plane landing. This was the best customer service he has experienced.

Inappropriate Steve was once in a pub where he saw a poster advertising a half price vodka and red bull. The barman poured him the drink and asked him to pay full price. Inappropriate Steve refused and left the pub in anger. This was the worst customer service he has experienced.

Bald Man shared with the group that the best moment in his life to date occurred inside a lap dancing club, when one of the girls who works there let him try on her boots. He said it was the best customer service he had ever experienced.

Self-Proclaimed Weird Girl’s best moment was when Chris Brown checked in at the same hotel she had left a few days before.

One Front Tooth Girl’s worst moment happened when a personalised card she had ordered from the internet arrived late. It was intended for her boyfriend’s birthday. It arrived two days after his birthday. They broke up for those two days, because he couldn't be with someone who didn't buy him a birthday card.

We were on the top floor of the building today with a panoramic window giving views of the river, which Old Woman stared unshakably out of all day.

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